Getting To The Top

Are your fears more valuable than the ride to the top?

Y’all the other day I saw a post from a friend that really resonated with me and I wanted to share. She posted that she was in a coaching group, shared challenges in her business and feverishly took notes as she was given feedback on how to overcome those challenges. The person giving her the feedback commented that as she took notes she kept saying, “yes, and” instead of “yes, but” - something he typically hears from people receiving his feedback.

Reading this, my initial thought was OMGGGGGGGG the “yes, but.” I AM FAMILIAR as I hear this so freaking often, it drives me nuts.

“Yes, but…”

Usually followed by a list of reasons why something will not work for them.

“Yes, but the sound of my voice is weird”

“Yes, but my house isn’t picture ready”

“Yes, but I need to wear makeup to take pics/ be on camera/ go live”

“Yes, but I don’t know how that works”

“Yes, but the algorithm”

The list of reasons I hear affirming why advice someone asks for won’t work for them is endless. My thought is that people are looking for ways to get to the top of Mount Everest and when you offer them a ride in the helicopter they find their fear of flying more valuable than the ride.

Read that again - your fears are more valuable than the solution.

“Yes, but the sound of my voice is weird”
AKA I judge myself so harshly for things like the sound of my voice, I’m afraid that others will too

“Yes, but my house isn’t picture ready”
AKA I’m afraid to let go of things around my house that make me comfortable even though those comforts are overwhelming

“Yes, but I need to wear makeup to take pics/ be on camera/ go live”
AKA I hold myself to an unattainable level of physical perfection and I’m afraid that others will as well

“Yes, but I don’t know how that works”
AKA I’m afraid that I might not learn how something works on the first try, which in my mind means I’m a failure

“Yes, but the algorithm”
AKA If I don’t garner likes/ comments/ engagement that means me nor my business are worthy

Obviously these are just examples of “yes, but” statements and I can only infer WHY those fears hold so much value to someone. However, the next time someone is offering solicited feedback and your first inclination is to respond, “yes, but” - ask yourself what fear you’re holding onto and why it’s more valuable than the ride to the top.