Separating The Good From The Great
I’m not one for rah rah motivation. I personally don’t think there’s any one thing anyone can say to intrinsically motivate someone else. I think people need tactical skills and from the development of those skills comes intrinsic motivation.
Sometimes there are new perspectives that thread between a tactical skill and rah rah motivation - hopefully this idea is one of those for you.
I’ve worked with small business owners at some capacity for the past 15 years and I’ve always wondered what exactly it was that separated those that experience growth from those that don’t.
Whether it’s a clothing business, satellite sales, TV distribution or Social Media Management or any other business there seems to be some small, but meaningful reason some experience continuous growth and others don’t. Then a few months ago, a friend posted something that really resonated and I thought “OMFG THAT IS IT.” She posted that someone commented to her that she always responds with “yes, and…” instead of “yes, but…”.
"Yes, and..."
"Yes, but..."
Just one little word separating the good from the great. Wild, right?
Here’s how I see it:
“Yes, and…” is an expansive mindset. Meanwhile, “yes, but…” is a restrictive mindset.
Let me give you an example - climbing Mount Everest.
Restrictive - Yes, but I can barely walk up and down my stairs without being out of breath.
Expansive - Yes, and I need to build up endurance by doing 15 min extra on my Peloton each day.
Our restrictive example give us a reason to stop, while our expansive example gives us a reason to keep going.
Trust me, everyone does this in some part of their life. In the looking for a husband department, I am VERY guilty of having had a restrictive mindset.
Restrictive - Yes, but I’ve dated billions of men and I still haven’t met the one, it’s just not meant for me.
Expansive - Yes, and I’ve learned a lot from all the dates I’ve been on, allowing me to grow into someone who has a better idea of what she deserves and won’t settle for anything less.
While both are a great plot line for Sex And The City, one is giving me major eye rolls, while the other says, “you go girl”. (Keyword being GO)
My tactical skill, which I hope helps build some intrinsic motivation for you, is to take a pause and switch from “yes, but…” to “yes, and…”.
Let’s look at another, perhaps more relevant example - posting personal content on your Facebook Business Page versus your group.
Restrictive - Yes, but in the short term, I get more engagement on my personal posts in my group and I want to keep my business page professional.
Expansive - Yes, and I know that even if initial engagement isn’t dynamite on my page, long term growth is guaranteed because my page has the potential to be seen by more people than my group, which will allow me to build a relationship with a broader audience.
BIG difference - one forces a hard stop while the other encourages forward movement. The latter also allows grace when immediate perfection and success isn’t achieved. Expansiveness is about growth, not immediately reaching the top of the mountain.
As someone that supports your business, whether you’re a client or friend - I’m committed helping you maintain an expansive mindset. “Yes, but…” emails and conversations will be met with a revision encouraging you to rewrite the story to “yes, and…”.